TNF: My beloved Ravens stomped a nonsensical MIA Fins side 40-0, and Ravens QB Joe Flacco was severely concussed after an elite, er late, slide.
SMF: As much as they hate it, the Browns travel to London without center Joe Thomas as they 'host' the Minnie Vikes.
Sun 1pm (former Snoopy Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ!): The Santa Clara Niners question the futility of victory. My Dirty Birds are becoming the Angry Birds, as the offense is struggling to take off under OC Steve Sarkisian, and yours truly will be there to lift the fog on this offense in a torrential downpour that will certainly delay the J-E-T-S. The most consistent plays from the Panthers as of late consist of Cam Newton rage-quitting on press conferences as they look to kick it against the Bucs. The Cincy Bagels look to kick it against a Colts squadron that is sorry their team sucks.
4pm-ish: The Seahawks will have plenty of time for day-time EDM dance parties once they're kicked out of the league for DUR DURKA DURRRRRR disrespectin' the flag as the Houston Inmates look to run the Prison of CenturyLink Field. We'll see if the FaceTime put in by Washington [Redacted] QB Kirk Cousins counts against division rival Cowboys kicking it from safety.
No time for the night games, as it's time for your truly to tailgate in the rain!
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