Given that I've been doing my best earning points for Stevie Johnson's fantasy team by both working and moving over the weekend, this email is coming to you later than usual. And it's more abridged as usual, as well. And getting this email done will earn him some more points. BOOM!
TNF: Something about playing for the cellar spot in the NFC East caused Eli to cast off his interceptions and have Kirk Cousins throw them instead, in yet another Thursday night rout. The best thing about this game is the DC Peopleskins got "The Treatment" from South Park the previous day.
Sun (Ikea, Red Hook, Brooklyn and Cleaning My Old Apartment, Murray Hill, Manhattan): Only thing of note is that I hope you have your goggles on, because there are blood and guts everywhere as former Panther and now current Baltimore WR Steve Smith is putting up a big game against his former team.
4pm-ish (PJ Leahy's, LIC, Queens if I ever make it): C Kaep will be dropping N-bombs with opponent WR Riley Cooper, and everyone will hear them because of the noted quietness of the "new" Niners fans. Apparently 60-second elevator pitches don't do a great job of disrupting (ha!) offensive play calls. The Bridgewater era is upon us in Minnesota, where my Dirty Birds look to run up the score for the second week in a row.
SNF (Couch Time!): It's great seeing both NO and DAL fall apart this season, and best wishes to their continued demise.
MNF: As his star fades, Tom Brady is preparing for his next career as internet troll when he is hosted by the KC Reidskins and their stadium lair. Might be a pretty even matchup.