Sunday, November 1, 2015

i <heart> nfl: grand

Nothing major in NFL news this week, so how about a roundup of a few stories: Pierre Garcon demonstrates that a BYE week is the perfect time to bring a class action lawsuit against daily fantasy football. The Cowboys are setting themselves up for a blowup by encouraging the violent behavior of woman-batterer Greg Hardy. The NFL continues to fine players for honoring their deceased mothers in non-NFL-approved ways. And now we all know that Jeb Bush's fantasy football team is undefeated.

For some reason the Browns seem overrepresented in these GIFs

TNF: The Gronk spiked everything as the NE Pats rolled over the recently-surging MIA Fins.

SMF: The NFL is getting us acclimated to casually checking in on the Sunday morning game by presenting the D'town Lions new offensive coordinator against the KC Reidskins. 

Sun 1pm (PJ Leahy's, LIC): My Dirty Birds look to exploit that half the Tampa Bay receiving core is out with injuries. The NYF Giants will get a hand with defense this week as they check into the Hotel Katrina against the Nawlins Aints. The doomed Bears host the Minnie Vikes along with star RB Adrian Peterson, who enjoys setting off his life-threatening allergies Perhaps the officiating will be better after my haunted Bodymore Ravens gave them a two-star Yelp review, as they host the also-shitty future LA Superchargers. The Texas Houstons will attempt to drop the Mallett on the Flaming ThumbtacksThe Niners shitty turf won't stop the StL Rams from kicking themselves to victory, as Niners players are physically fighting over their QB. And after the Zony Cards bury the Cleveland Browns, how will that particular loss rank?

4pm-ish: The J-E-T-S will attempt to establish ground communication against the Raiders, whose fans applaud the owner for removing them from OaklandFollowing three straight outcomes, the Seattle Seahawks travel to Jerryland to face the delusional Cowboys.

SNF: Two teams enter, one team leaves undefeated, as the Broncos host the Packers. Unless there's a tie, of course.

MNF: Straight out of THE University, the Carolina Panthers take on Indy Colts, whose fans aren't liking their Luck this season.

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