Sunday, November 29, 2015

i <heart> nfl: euclid

Even without the scab refs, this season has been marked by especially lousy officiating. The complexity of the rules, for example the definition of a catch, can be quite complicated and different from college rules. The rulebook is a complex entity, written by lawyers, that, at best allows us to argue with our friends between plays. I hope we see some simplification in the offseason. In other news, I bet the history of Thanksgiving football goes way further than you thought it did.

Time for an afternoon constitutional

ThxDF: Chip Kelly's bullshit methods allowed another 45 points against an Eagles defense that's thrown in the towel as the D'town Lions continue their recent dominance of Thanksgiving Day. The undefeated Panthers move to 11-1 against the again Romo-less Cowboys. And da Bears hold on against Brett Favre's favorite team in a battle between QBs equally adept at tossing the official tablet of the NFL.

Sun 1pm (Somewhere around Boerum Hill, Brooklyn): Everyone is biased against Dan Snyder's fashion sense as the Washington Milf Weed host the NYF Giants. Tennessee hosts the Oakland Raiders in another difficult road game for the Titans. What can we learn from the xxx-xx result as my Dirty Birds place agains the Minnie Vikes, in this battle of NFC wildcard contenders? After firing Defensive Coordinator/Metallic Roadie Rob Ryan for causing Hurricane Katrina, the Nawlins Aints seek refuge in the Houston's NRG Stadium. Bills HC Rex Ryan should realize his headset will start working again this week, when his opponent is the KC Reidskins instead of the NE Pats. Indy is very Luck-y that Matt Hasselbeck is proving such a valuable backup QB, as they take on the TB Bucs and QB Jameis Winston, who is very Luck-y that he is one of forty former Florida State football players that received special treatment with their sexual assault/domestic violence investigations.

4pm-ish: Beast Mode is disabled in this rematch of the hideous Super Bowl XL between the Seattle Seahawks and Yinzburgh Stillers. Will anyone show up for this snoozefest as the Niners host the Zony Cards at the Field of Jeans?

SNF: The 'Omaha' v 'Rex Ryan' Bowl! NE Pats HC Bill Belichick ate PB&J's for Thanksgiving so he'd have time to prepare for backup QB Brock Osweiler since Peyton Manning is faking an injury, as the Denver Broncos Ponder other options at quarterback.

MNF: In by far the worst prime time game of the season, my broken Bodymore Ravens travel to the Factory of Sadness to face a Cleveland Browns team that's benched QB Johnny Fucking Bubbles.

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