This abbreviated post comes compliments of holiday travel and free wifi at the ATL airport. If you're itching for something more to read this Sunday, check out Drew Magary lambasting the show of moving teams to Los Angeles.
Get out the way!
TNF: Oakland said goodbye to Charles Woodson's Hall of Fame career as well as their NFL franchise as they topped future roommates San Diego Superchargers in overtime.
SatNF: The lights went out on the Philadelphia Eagles playoff hopes as YOU SPIKE THAT!? the DC Fightin' Snyders are going back to the playoffs.
Sun 1pm: Silver-toed QB Cam Newton and his Carolina Panthers are up to bat against my Millennium Falcons. In Bill de Blasio's New York, beggars will get jobs, as the J-E-T-S host the NE Pats and their Jolly Rancher of a head coach. The Cleveland Browns can improve this off-season by replacing them with barnyard chickens, as they battle the KC Reidskins, who are still alive for postseason contention. The Dallas Cowboys start some little bitty dude against the zaniest fans in football.
SNF: ODB won't be lighting up the field against the Minnie Vikes, who are vying for the last NFC wildcard spot.
MNF: The Denver Broncos can earn a return to the playoff if their offense quits ruining scoring opportunities, as they host the Cincy Bagels.