Sunday, December 13, 2015

i <heart> nfl: jamaica

Given the temperature outside, you'd be forgiven for forgetting this weekend has *playoff* implications, but here we are! Bringing you up to speed for your Week 14 Action, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell thinks concussions are hilarious. A blue-ribbon committee has been formed to determine just what a catch is. More extra point attempts were missed last week than all of last season. And the NO Saints score the first defensive 2-point conversion in NFL history.

So much for the twig and berries

TNF: The Zony Cards squeaked out a playoff spot as they defeated the Minnie Vikes with a last-minute fieldgoal.

Sun 1pm (PJ Leahy's, LIC, NYC): After the failing of the cover nobody defense, the Ryan brothers reunite in the City of Apropos Love against a thirsty Iggles squadron whose HC Chip Kelly is hated by both current and former RBs. The undefeated 13-1 Panthers host my Dirty Birds, who need to step up both looks to WR Julio Jones and their half-assed defense. The San Fran Hungry Hungry Hippos travel to the Factory of Sadness, where the Cleveland Browns will restart their alcoholic QB. Da Bears host the Washington Redksins and their Positive Polly quarterback. Far from a night at the opera, my beloved Ravens have a chance to achieve sadness history if backup backup QB Jimmy Clausen again gets shut out by the Seattle Seahawks.

4pm-ish: Dallas Cowboys WR Dez Bryant will attempt to define the catch without the aid of technology against the GB Pack. And the Denver Broncos entertain the unrecognizable Oakland Juggalos.

SNF: With the Houstons' networking skills, one would surmise the JJ Watts' social engagements more than "Netflix. No Chill" as NE Pats star WR Tom Brady tries to ban them from the playoffs and make America great again.

MNF: With a three way 5-7 tie for 1st place, the horrible NFC East  is once again featured on MNF as NYFGHC Tom Coughlin reaches his optimal pulse rate against the MIA Fins. 

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