The first Raiders win of the season completes the Circle of Parity, in which every team has transitively beaten themselves. In an exemplary demonstration of the season thus far, the KC Chiefs, fresh off a victory against the Super Bowl defending Seahawks, go and lose one to the winless Oakland Raiders.
TNF: The Oakland Raiders blew their one year anniversary of losing by winning.
Sun 1pm (PJ Leahy's, LIC): Now that the NFL has legalized Josh Gordon, will my Dirty Birds still be able to ride dirty against the recently hapless Cleveland Browns? The Bagels get hosted by the Texas Houstons and their Harvard-graduate QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, who has failed upwards into a gig as Vice President of Sideline Communications. Chicago continues to fail at everything sports-related, but the could get a leg up against TB Bucs. The Iggles get their second BYE of the season, because for some reason the AFC South only has 3 teams.
4pm-ish: RG3 is apologizing in advance for his teammates' loss to the Santa Clara 110001ers. My brother is yelling at me to get out of the apartment.