Sunday, October 28, 2018

i <heart> nfl: week 8

In NFL news this week, an official was fired midseason for the first time in the Super Bowl era for missing obvious false start calls. And in other news, here are the best ways to relieve oneself during the game.

TNF: "Expect the worst and get the best" as QB Deshaun Watson and the Texas Houstons lit up the MIA Fins.

Sun 9:30am: The rapidly collapsing Jax Jags cross the pond to field the strength of London Bortles or otherwise demonstrate that Colin Kaepernick should be in the league as their unbenched QB faces the hungover Philadelphia Eagles.

1pm: Will we see the same elite mattress-purchasing in Ravens QB Joe Flacco we got last week as the Ravens visit the artificially fired up Carolina Panthers? The Bell-less Steelers host the memefication of the Cleveland Browns. The Broncos travel to the advanced defense of the KC Reidskins after cutting their starting QB for trespassing into a stranger's house.

4pm-ish: Scottish ethics professor St. Andrew Luck and his Colts take on an Oakland Raiders franchise whose coach has lost the locker room and QB has lost the confidence of his teammates for crying after a hit and personnel has lost the second and last of their Pro Bowlers after WR Amari Cooper was traded to Dallas.

SNF: Here's hoping that Minnie Vikes shutdown CB Xavier Rhodes can start against the NO Aints in a rematch of last season's playoff game that gave us the Minnesota Miracle.

MNF: The Buffalo Bills will continue to search for the Derek Anderson renaissance as they continue to get trolled by mascots while hosting the hated New England Patriots.

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