TNF: John Elway, the architect of the disaster that is the Denver Broncos, continues to blame everyone but himself for the franchise's woes, got a reprieve by kicking the shit out of the Zony Cards, who are toilet soup.
Sun 9:30am: The Tennessee Titans QB Marcus Mariota aims to achieve sack/pass completion parity this week as they face off against the Chargers in London.
1pm: The Buffalo Bills opt to start their old QB over their shitty QB against the Colts. The Lions face off against Miami, where it's the month of Brocktober, as the backup QB continues to start for a Dolphins squadron that has committed Saudi-esque things to starting QB Ryan Tannehill
4pm-ish: Fun fact: The Baltimore Ravens are the only team that has never suffered a loss at the hands of New Orleans' Drew Brees, having won the last four contests against the Saints.
SNF: Will the KC Reidskins clock "creativity" again pose a threat for what should be a sure win against the Cincy Bagels?
MNF: My Dirty Birds host a NYF Giants franchise that can't hide the fact that Eli Manning is on the team and a dehydrated WR in Odell Beckham, Jr. who doesn't like drinking water so much he has to leave the field early to get an IV.