Sunday, December 31, 2017

i <heart> nfl: betsy devos

Last week saw the addition of the KC Chiefs, LA Rams, NO Aints, and Carolina Panthers to the postseason roster. The final 2 spots in the AFC will go to two of the Ravens, Titans, Bills (!?), or Chargers, with the final NFC slot going to either the Falcons or Seahawks. As is done with soccer (metric football) matches, the NFL has flexed all the playoff-deciding games to 4:25pm this afternoon to ensure the outcome of one game doesn't affect the play of another. 

Sun 1pm: There's no reason to watch any of these games. Instead, spend time reflecting on 2017 and contemplating what 2018 will bring.

4:25pm on the dot: After playing like butt last week, my Dirty Birds seal their spot in the playoffs with a win as the Carolina Panthers rally around sexual harasser, dictionary definition of 'scowl', and soon-to-be-former owner Jerry Richardson. The Seahawks, otherwise, could sneak into the postseason by defeating whatever is going on between the Zony Cards and HC Bruce Arians. Whether the Jax Jags start QB Blake Bortles or his clone will dictate the difficulty of the Titans in winning their matchup, which would guarantee them a playoff spot. My beloved Ravens hope to have enough fans at M&T Bank Stadium before NYE Stoop Party Time (which starts early in Baltimore), as a win against the Hapless Cincy Bagels and their lame duck coach also guarantees a playoff ticket. The Buffalo Bills might want to keep just 11 men on the field, since they need both a win and some help, as do the LA Chargers, who finally became the team they were meant to be just when it was too late.

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