Sunday, September 24, 2017

i <heart> nfl: paul ryan

As we head into Week 3, one of the main storylines in the NFL has been the lack of a job for Colin Kaepernick. Now famous for kneeling for the national anthem when he was a backup QB for the 49ers, the Super Bowl attending C-Kaep has been unemployed just as many teams are featuring shitty products under center. Unforced error and US President Donnie John inserted himself into the situation Friday by insisting that NFL managers fire players that don't stand for the anthem, disinviting the Golden State Warriors from a White House visit, and imploring supporters to boycott NFL games this weekend. Look for the NFL to respond today.

TNF: If a game happens in a forest, and no one is there to spectate, was it actually an exciting game where the LA Rams topped the Santa Clara 49ers in the NFL's first ever 41-39 result?

Sun 9:30am for some reason: My beloved Bodymore Ravens "host" the Jax Jags in London as the Queen cheers on the possibility they are descended from royal stock.

1pm (PJ Leahy's, LIC, NYC): The NYFG will try, and fail to win this NFC East toss-up against the Eagles. Now that Gronk has scored his 69th NFL touchdown, he injured his groin and will never score again, as the NE Pats look to shine (Tom Brady will avoid sunburns by drinking lots of water) against the many shitty quarterbacks of the Texas Houstons. You can forget about whichever team beats the Colts this week, as Browns center Joe Thomas has logged his 10,000th sad snap. My Dirty Birds' season is looking bright, but they travel to a D'town Lions franchise that is trying to avoid futility.

4pm-ish: Aaron Rodgers looks to beat the Cincy Bagels and the chicken-dancing Andy Dalton for the first time.

SNF: Raiders QB Derek Carr aims to air it out on 'Seattle' plays as the future Las Vegas team visits the Washington [Redacted].

MNF: The Dallas 'Boys feature their kicker as the best player against Zony Cards QB Andy Dalton's pinteresting struggle.

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