TNF: The two worst teams in the league played an Aussie Rules Football game to keep things somewhat interesting.
Sun 1pm: The NE Pats check into the Hotel Katrina looking for restitution from their Week 1 loss against the tandem of lame ducks HC Sean Payton and QB Drew Brees. The Minnie Vikes look to remain on fleek as they visit the Yinzburg Steelers and their sack of potatoes under center. Lovie Smith makes his triumphant return to the Pirate Ship as the Bucs host da Bears [oh whoops... that's a college game]. Jax Jags QB Blake Bortles, who is as bad a doctor as he is a quarterback, aims to throw darts against the Tennessee Titans. It doesn't matter which team the Colts play, they'll get their asses kicked.
4pm-ish: Having moved to the Big City, the Chargers will be twerking for the weekend as they kick it against Jay Cutler's debut in coastal pastels. People in LA live to be seen at the right places with the right people, which is apparently not the Rams game, with the recent transplants failing to use every part of the stadium against the Washington [Redacted]. The Cowboys look to run the Shanahan
SNF (Somewhere b/w the Meadows Festival and LIC, Queens): My Dirty Birds host the GB Pack in their new playing field of Megatron's Butthole in this rematch of last season's NFC title game.
MNF: For the second week in a row, the NYFG will feature an impotent and O'dell-less offense in prime time against Matt Stafford and his Lions.