No time for pleasantries... on to the meat!
This catch is topologically non-trivial
Sat 4:35pm CBS (Barrow St Ale House, West Village, NYC): NE Pats HC Bill Belichick won't explain how he got that black eye, but he's happy to send the KC Reidskins his game plan, which apparently doesn't involve smoking the real stuff. 8:15pm NBC: Nice guy, biscuit fan, and Zony Cards WR Larry Fitzgerald seeks to propel his team to victory against the GB Packers, who returned to dominant form last week after taking Danny DeVito's advice.
Sun 1:05pm FOX (prolly PJ Leahy's, LIC, NYC): If the Seattle Seahawks thought fumbling snaps, face-planting, and tackling whiteboards were the keys to last week's victory, then even janitors know they'll face trouble against the Chosen Carolina Panthers. 4:40pm CBS: Burfict stranger, Grammy award-winner, and Yinzburg Stillers' WR Antonio Brown will be sitting out along with RB Deangelo Williams and possibly QB Ben Roethlisberger, so the Stillers might be playing like garbage against a Denver Broncos squadron whose home airport is giving away their audibles.