Not even three pumps!
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TNF: Although QB Andrew Luck's shoulder is separated, Indy has not been separated from victory as Texas Houstons QB Ryan Mallett was too busy making his grandmothers cry.
Sunday 1pm (PJ Leahy's, LIC): My Bodymore Raven's WR Steve Smith preemptive burning down of JFF's family home in anticipation of their matchup against the Browns is a good reason for sitting out. After kicking their way to defeat last week, the KC Reidskins look to rebound against da hapless Bears, although Chicago QB smokin' Jay Cutler returned to hang up their first W last week. The DC Fighting Snyders travel to the Georgia Dome to battle my Dirty Birds and their former assistant coaches. Perhaps this week the Seattle Seahawks can pull out a win against the Cincy Bengals with an illegal cat. Philadelphia head coach Chip Kelly is occupying two hot seats as the Iggles host the Nawlins Aints.
4pm-ish: After completing his 4-game suspension for domestic abuse, defensive end, girlfriend beater, gun aficionado, rap video producer, and "garbage human" Greg Hardy returns to Jerryland "guns blazing" against the NE Pats, just in time for Pinktober. Can the Denver Broncos stay undefeated as they travel to the wasteland of O.co.#blackhole%juggalo Coliseum?
SNF: Niners QB CKaep checks into Snoopy Stadium to air his struggles to the nation as he shows the NYF Giants that he's no Russell Wilson. Many fans are calling for his job until they realize their backup QB is Blaine Gabbert.
MNF: The Yinzburgh Stillers will showcase their shiny new kicker to the San Diego Superchargers, who are soon bolting to LA.
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