Welcome to Pinktober, where football fans are reminded of something else that's bad for women! I personally won't be able to catch any of the games with you, cause I'm on the West Coast for my brother's wedding. This email comes to you early by virtue of my procrastination in writing the best man speech. Enjoy!
No first downs for you!
TNF: The Packers rolled all over the Vikes in another Thursday night onslaught that can only be described as good for my fantasy teams.
Sun 10am PDT (some bar in the San Diego Airport): It's not so lonely in Lone Star State as Texas' two teams square off. Now that the NYF Giants are scoring off the field, can they handle the sometimes potent Dirty Bird offense? Or will they just continue to bench themselves? After spraying blood and guts everywhere, my Bodymore Ravens travel to Indianapolis, hopefully not permanently this time. The suddenly hapless Panthers host da Bears in a contest of animals that lurk in the woods. The Rams have chosen to name a starting shitty QB instead of having everyone wait in anticipation of which shitty QB will start for them as they host the Eagles, who are too tired to actually play football for more than a half.
4pm-ish EDT (35,000 feet): I will be on a J-E-T from San Diego to NY as SD hosts the NY J-E-T-S. Fun fact: the Ryan brothers are the defensive geniuses behind the two teams whose defenses are without an interception all season. The KC Reidskins travel to Silicon Valley to take on the 110001ers.
SNF (Couch): This game is the Bagels to lose as the NE Pats look quite hapless, with their only win of the year being against the Raiders in a game where every point was scored by a '-kowski'.
MNF: A rematch of that famous divisional game when RG3's knees were first blown out. Look for Pete Carroll and the Seahawks to run up the score against the Washington [censored].