It's still Pinktober, which raises the awareness of backfield cancer. We're still waiting to hear back from the Mueller report, but just for fun let's mention that John Elway's son got probation for a domestic violence case, but that's probably okay because it's only one of hundreds. Or maybe I'm just pissy cause the Ravens and Falcons play each other today.
Jay Cutler DOOOOONNNNN’TTTTTT CCCCAAAAAARRRRRREEEEEE about the ref's junk!
TNF: Renewing a division rivarly, the NE Pats hosted the NY J-E-S-T in what was actually another surprisingly close Thursday night event. The game ended in true J-E-T-S from, by having the game-winning fieldgoal blocked in the final seconds, and also in true Pats form, by having a ref instruct a LBto move so as to not incur a 5-yard penalty, which would have made that final fieldgoal attempt a more manageable 53 yards. On Friday the J-E-T-S traded for WR Percy Harvin, thereby adding even more dysfunction to an already hilarious J-E-T-S squadron.
Sun 1pm (cleaning/organizing the ol' apartment): The once every four years when my beloved Ravens and Dirty Birds square off is a melancholic matchup, but at least Matt Ryan gets to be around people that care about him. Da Bears look for their first home win against a sometimes good Miami Fins team.Hodor and his Colts host the recently hapless Cincy Bagels, who have the dubious distinction of sharing the highest-scoring tie in NFL history last week with the Panthers. As everyone knows, ties are like kissing your sister, but these teams really slip her the tongue. The Seahawks attempt to make it even against the future (and past!) LA Rams by playing without a receiving core. The suddenly decent Browns will learn that in Florida, neither NFL franchises nor gubernational candidates have any fans, as they are hosted by the Jacksonville Baguars. The Eagles are on BYE this week, so Nick Foles has a chance to try those chicken tenders he's been hearing so much about.
4pm-ish: Can the NYCWTF Giants do their part to prevent a Cowboys winning-season apocalypse as they travel to Jerryland? Probably not. If the San Diego Superchargers stay classy against division rival KC Reidskins and no one is around to see it, does it still count as a win?
SNF: An excellent matchup between the Denver Broncos and Silicon Valley 110001ers has likely been ruined by the occurrence of a watchable Thursday night game.
MNF: An excellent matchup if it happened 5 years ago, the .500 Yinzburgh Stillers host the .500 Texas Houstons. Maybe we could have another tie?