Welcome to the final week of the regular season! So far, congratulations to the Pats, Houstons, Chiefs, Chargers, Cowboys, Saints, Rams, and Seahawks on making the playoffs! The final seedings and teams will make it today. I'm currently on vacation in Puerto Rico, so all times are Atlantic Stantard Time.
2pm (AST): None of these games are worth watching save for the future impending First Amendment Supreme Court case regarding whether NYF Giants fans can inform their team that they 'fucking suck'.
5:25pm on the dot: Minnie Vikes are in with win over Bears, but instead the Eagles are in with Minnie loss and win over Skins. The Ravens are in on win against Browns. KC Reidskins get 1st in AFC with win over hapless Raiders. The Steelers are in with a win against Cincy Bagels, which will be tough with their receiving threats on the injured reserve, but also need a Browns victory, which is asking a lot.
SNF: Indy or Titans in on win, but if there's a tie, neither of them get in and the Steelers advance which would be such an AFC South thing to happen.